Recuperation, Getting Back On The Horse, Etc.

Alright, alright.  I’m not dead, despite what you may think.  I know it’s silly to apologize for not posting on one’s own blog (it is my blog, after all), but it’s been quite a while, so I figured I should at least say something.  Between catching the flu for the first time ever, going to a furry convention several states away, allergies, and dealing with ailing family, my life has been somewhat hectic and my practice has gotten all kinds of screwed to the point where I’m most concerned about sleep (which I still haven’t caught up on properly, a week later) and caffeine (which I need to ween myself off of once more, but at least I’m not using an IV drip of the stuff again).  After this coming weekend, things should be set aright again.  Really, they will.

Until then, dear readers, I hope you’ve all been well.  In the meantime, is there any thought you might want to pluck from my brain, any topic you’d want me to opine on, any ideas you’d want explored on the Digital Ambler?  I’m open to random rants, and I could do with something to hook my interest and give me something to think about.

Also, I love you all and am very happy you visit here.  Just letting y’all know.  ♥

Pause

As I write this, I’ve got a number of candles lit and some used tealight tins waiting to be thrown out, cedar incense burning, Enya playing, and a cup of water on my desk helping me out of the last effects of a hangover.  I’m still working off a sleep debt from having to stay up until 2 a.m. occasionally from past consecration rituals.  My dishwasher is still broken and awaits being repaired on Tuesday, I need to find another repairman to fix a blinds malfunction, I’m scarce on funds until my next paycheck, and I’m wondering how many FBI/homeland security watchlists I’ve been put on for daring to wear Middle Eastern clothing in public in DC on the memorial weekend (which I somehow forgot).  The rain we had last week canceled more than one set of plans and completely shut down my commuter train on Friday due to flooding.

Either things have actually been busy this past week, or it’s felt busy enough to get even me a bit stressed.  But that’s alright, because it’s been worth it.

When we last left off, I had conjured Gabriel and Kammael successfully, Michael unsuccessfully, and began the process of consecrating my planetary talismans for my Table of Manifestation.  Since then, I’ve performed a number more consecration rituals (which will continue through Thursday), conjured Michael, Raphael, Tzadqiel, Haniel, and Tzaphqiel with varying levels of success, and began the consecration process for my big lead Saturn talisman for an election this coming weekend.  Maybe it’s just me, but trying to get a drawn-out series of consecrations done during appropriate planetary hours and interacting with the varied and sundry powers of the cosmos all while trying to keep up with mundane shit can really fuck with you.  I should have remembered my lesson from an earlier post: don’t work with radically different powers in quick succession (viz. air followed by earth), because it’s going to end either badly or hilariously.  I’m also reminded of a bit of advice from an astrological magic forum, that one should expect some electrical craziness when first working with Algol; the dust will settle down eventually, but there’s going to be an adjustment process.

That sort of stirring up the dust followed by adjustment is something that I kinda needed.  I’m sure I could have done much more with the four elements and their kings, princes, and spirits than I’ve done so far, but now that I’ve gotten acquainted and introduced properly to all of them and learned enough to be at least somewhat decent, I suppose it was time to get bumped up to another level.  This past week was the first time I worked with the planetary angels, and I got to experience who they are and what their spheres are like intimately (some more than others, based on how clear the connection was with them).  It might have been wiser to do maybe one conjuration a week, but I decided to take the fool’s leap and dive right in.  Swimming in the soft emerald undersea of Venus, sitting among the sapphire-pearl clouds of Jupiter, and walking past the orange-gold halls of Mercury are experiences I definitely intend on having again, as well as coming to know more about them and their roles in the world.  Still, maybe getting acclimated to all those influences all at once might have been overdoing it.  That said, conjuring Michael of the Sun today made up for it all.

Granted, I was hungover (beer hall birthday celebration in DC last night) and I was sore in my belly and neck.  The connection wasn’t great, and I didn’t bother to ask Michael about the sphere of the Sun or advice or anything.  However, I was able to feel what being in the sphere of the Sun was like.  Other experiences with the other planets caused a real change in my perception, but with the Sun, I didn’t notice a thing.  Things were still there and still as ever, everything was quiet, and everything just was.  I felt somewhat disappointed at first, expecting some sudden change, but then it hit me: that’s just what the Sun is.  It’s the center of the solar system, it’s the point of return over and over again, it’s the fulcrum for all the other planets.  I get that now, and I get how it feels: peace, truth, calmness, stillness, clarity.  After the craze and daze of consecrations and conjurations, the misfortunes of last week, and balancing out different parts of my life, that realization and experience was probably the most worthwhile part of the past week.

That sort of rest or, I dunno, pause definitely stuck with me today, and things have been smoother since.  I got my work needed doing today done, sorted out appointments for the week, and organized up my plans for the coming period of time.  Two of the talismans are completely consecrated and a third is finishing up as it soaks in the last of its consecrated light and incense.  What stress I had from the past week has almost completely evaporated.  I’ve learned and experienced a fair bit, and been alerted to a good number of past lessons in the process.  Now that I’ve gotten a much-needed breather, I can get back to Work.