Search Term Shoot Back, January 2015

I get a lot of hits on my blog from across the realm of the Internet, many of which are from links on Facebook, Twitter, or RSS readers.  To you guys who follow me: thank you!  You give me many happies.  However, I also get a huge number of new visitors daily to my blog from people who search around the Internet for various search terms.  As part of a monthly project, here are some short replies to some of the search terms people have used to arrive here at the Digital Ambler.  This focuses on some search terms that caught my eye during the month of January 2015.

“rufus opus phone number” — Please don’t stalk my instructor.  Nobody likes an unbidden phone call from some random person.  I don’t know it and chances are you shouldn’t know it.

“alternative to isopsephy egyptian” — Alas, this isn’t possible.  Isopsephy is the Greek term for gematria, which is a method of numerology that corresponds individual letters of a writing system to individual numbers.  In this way, we can treat whole words or sentences as mathematical or numerical objects, using numerology to divine alternative or occult meanings from them beyond what the words themselves say.  However, this is only possible if there exists a mapping between letters and numbers.  Some writing systems that do this include Hebrew, Arabic, Greek, and Amharic.  However, many writing systems do not, and Egyptian writing (I assume hieroglyphs) is in this category.  For one, Egyptian hieroglyphs don’t use “letters”, where each symbol represents a distinct sound devoid of independent meaning; rather, they used a complicated system of ideographs and semanto-phonetic symbols to represent ideas and sounds-paired-with-meaning, while they used a separate set of glyphs for numbers, and never the twain had met.  Thus, there doesn’t exist a method of numerology involving Egyptian hieroglyphs in the same ways as Greek isopsephy or Hebrew gematria.

“how to clean oshun eleke” — If you have to ask, you probably shouldn’t be doing it.  Find your local santero/santera, or go to your padrino/madrina, and have them do it for you.  Next time, be sure to take more care in wearing your elekes.

“favorable fields generated by orgone on growing cannabis” — You’re considering wasting precious grow-space for weed by trying to add in congealed robot vomit?  How gullible of a hippy are you?

“instant huge cock satan” — It never ceases to surprise me how many people are literally willing to sell their soul or make deals with the Devil for a bigger dick.  There’s really no good and safe way to increase penis size; pills and the like are bunk, and training like jelqing or penis pumps can potentially be overdone and leave your dick literally burst.  If we have such a hard time with this using utterly physical means, how much more so with spiritual ones?  Be content with what you have, guys.  Trust me, if you know how to use it, that’s the best thing.  It doesn’t take much to feel full or have a good time.

“what liquor do you use to conjure spirits” — Depends on the spirit.  Tradition can dictate a lot: Hellenists use wine for some of the theoi, many Caribbean traditions use rum, Brazilian ones use cachaça, Shinto ones use sake, and so forth.  The keyword here is “spirit”, as in any alcoholic volatile beverage; most spirits won’t turn them down!  That said, ask the spirit directly.  Every god, spirit, ancestor, and the like have their own preferences above and beyond what tradition may dictate; while I offer red wine to Hermes, I’ve heard of some people getting a preference for wine coolers.  If you knew that your late great-grandfather loved scotch, pour him a glass of Glenfiddich once in a while.  If a particular culture hero was famous for owning a brewery, try offering them a glass of beer that they were known to make or love.  Ask them, and use your intuition.

“is bornless rite necessary” — Depends on what you need it for, but the Bornless Rite (or Headless Rite, Liber Samekh, Stele of Ieu the Hieroglyphist, etc.) isn’t necessary in the same way as any other ritual isn’t necessary.  It really does help, though, especially in the fields of exorcism and gaining contact with the Holy Guardian Angel.  If you want to achieve either of these things, then the Headless Rite is awesome.  It’s by no means the only way to do them, but it’s a good one.  Give it a try; you could do much worse.

“occult offerings workplace” — This is an awesome idea, and one I use.  The general rule, no matter what kind of job or office/work environment you may have, is BE DISCREET.  By all means, use all the pomp and circumstance you may want when you’re at home or in a secluded grove in the forest or cliff on a mountain, but in an office, factory, restaurant, or clinic, you don’t have that luxury.  Consider memorizing a prayer and muttering it under your breath while looking at a particular innocuous devotional object you may have (a peacock paperweight for Hera, a soldier action figure for Ares, an obsidian necklace for Tezcatlipoca, etc.).  If you have a desk or locker, consider using a secluded corner that won’t draw much attention and set an equally-innocuous figurine there as a focus and a glass or mug of water, coffee, tea, or juice out for them.  If you can’t afford this, use a break to go to the bathroom, out back on the porch, or outside to a crossroads and make a quick, quiet, and short offering there.  Not everyone has the ability to do that, though, so modify your method to suit your circumstances.

“greek dicks” — I know there’s a trend to “go Greek” in a lot of ways, what with this cultural openness encouraging Greek yoghurt and buttsex and Hellenism and all sorts of stuff.  Mediterranean stuff and things are hot!  That said, have you also considered fantasizing about Turkish oil wrestling?  Because I certainly do.

“very large dicks” — Not just large dicks, but very large dicks!  Honestly, this is just lazy searching; using the word “very” is lazy writing, anyway.  To wit, I quote John Keating from the movie Dead Poets Society:

So avoid using the word “very” because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys—to woo women—and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won’t do in your essays.

“god hermes pray protection from rape” — …are you aware of the corpus of Greek mythos at all?  While I know certain things aren’t culturally translatable from 2500 years ago to today, the Greek gods tended to do whatever they want or whomever they want and whenever they want.  This includes forcing themselves upon any number of mortals, men and women alike, sometimes to great ends and sometimes to awful ones.  Hermes doesn’t really operate in the same way as his brother Apollo or father Zeus and isn’t one to have very many sexual exploits of his own, but he’s better at setting up clandestine affairs and lovers in secrecy and shadow.  While he can be called upon for escape and protection, like with Europa from Hera, this is more from wrath and less from rape.  Then again, Hermes is a god of many things and is a microcosm unto himself, so if you want a way out of anything, definitely give it a try.

“dee’s enochian demons killing symbols” — As far as I’ve read of Dee, he never had any such symbol.  Medieval and Renaissance occult works don’t usually describe the killing of demons, usually only going so far as to say they can be bound but not killed.  The implication is that demons are immortal and unable to be wounded by mortal means.  However, there are some symbols that are related to Solomonic designs that can maim or kill demons, but that’s another topic entirely.

Directional Correspondences

Four elements and archangels, four directions.  GO.

Agrippa’s system (book II, chapter 7):

  • East – Fire (Michael)
  • West – Air (Raphael)
  • North – Water (Gabriel)
  • South – Earth (Auriel)

The logic for this can be understood by looking at a horoscope.  Let’s say that, at the start of the astrological year, the Sun rises at dawn on the spring equinox (0 Aries).  Aries, then, is ascending on the east; Libra descends on the west; Capricorn is at the midheaven; Cancer is at the nadir.  Aries is ruled by Fire, Libra Air, Capricorn Earth, and Cancer Water.  In this system, the hot elements (Fire and Air) are on the East-West axis, while the cold elements (Water and Earth) are on the North-South axis.  This makes sense to me, at least, though I haven’t seen this put forth as an official explanation of this. 

Something more official might go something like this: the order of the elements in the Zodiac is fire, earth, air, and water (Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer…); the order of the elements, going around clockwise starting at East, is fire, earth, air, and water; the order of the four cherubim presented in Rev 4:7 is “lion, calf, man and eagle”, representing, respectively, fire, earth, air, and water.  Lots of stuff to chew on here, and definitely reverberates well.

Golden Dawn system:

  • East – Air (Raphael)
  • West – Water (Gabriel)
  • North – Earth (Auriel)
  • South – Fire (Michael)

These attributions seem to have originated with the Golden Dawn who were trying to expand on Dee’s work, and the four angels and angels from Dee were assigned their elements.  Later on, Gerald Gardner used Golden Dawn material in forming Wicca, which has propagated this system to many forms of neopagan cosmologies that exist today.

The Golden Dawn likely used a solar-based or geographic system to determine these elemental attributions.  At least from the northern hemisphere, when the Sun is at its highest point and hottest, it’s in the southern part of the sky (hot and dry, Fire).  At dawn and dusk, things are heating up and evaporating the dew (hot and moist, Air) or cooling down with sweat and rain (cold and moist, Water).  At nighttime, things are dark, cold, and hidden, all qualities associated with Earth (cold and dry).  Alternatively, from their primarily European frame of reference, they considered the southern lands to be hot and dry like the Sahara (Fire), and northern lands like Scotland or Scandinavia to be barren and frozen (Earth).  The Atlantic ocean was to the west (Water), while fertile lands and places of learning and civilization were out to the east (Air).  This system breaks down when applied to other parts of the world, especially the entire southern hemisphere, which might be better off switching Fire and Earth.  Indeed, this is one of the major issues with this system, and I’ve seen it applied, changed, or tweaked in various ways.

The angels ruling the elements are the same between the two systems, as are most of the other correspondences between the elements and other beings and attributions.  The Golden Dawn style of attribution is common, both in modern ceremonial and neopagan systems of magic, but I prefer the traditional Agrippan attributions and use that in my own work.  Since the attributions between elements and other things are largely the same regardless of the system, with just the directions and minor details switched around, I normally fit things into the Agrippa system whenever I adapt a ritual or tool into my own practice.  It’s a more classical or Renaissance system that I prefer, following in the steps of past and present traditional Hermetic magicians, and would seem to be independent of hemisphere, but YMMV.

For instance, my Circle of Art has four four-lettered names of God around the outer ring: Agla in the East, Eloah in the North, Eheieh in the West, and Adonai in the South.  I got these godnames from Fr. Osiris’ New Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram, which I find of much better than the standard LBRP; however, he follows the GD correspondences and uses Agla in the South, Eloah in the West, Eheieh in the East, and Adonai in the North.  Given the system I work within, I find that East=Fire/Michael/Agla works better than East=Air/Raphael/Eheieh.  Likewise, when I decide to do a personal Litany to the Holy Angels, I swap the order of the angels, calling on Michael, Auriel, Raphael, and Gabriel in turn instead of Raphael, Michael, Gabriel, and Auriel.

Correspondences differ between traditions.  That’s alright.  Different traditions operate on different views of the same cosmos, different interpretations of the same reality.  Within one system, complete and well-structured according to its own rules, things work well; swapping between systems without taking into account different correspondences may cause things to slighty out of tune or entirely out of order.