I get a lot of hits on my blog from across the realm of the Internet, many of which are from links on Facebook, Twitter, or RSS readers.  To you guys who follow me: thank you!  You give me many happies.  However, I also get a huge number of new visitors daily to my blog from people who search around the Internet for various search terms.  As part of a monthly project, here are some short replies to some of the search terms people have used to arrive here at the Digital Ambler.  This focuses on some search terms that caught my eye during the months of May, June, and July 2015.  Yes, I’ve been slow and uncharacteristically postless these past few months, but that doesn’t mean my blog is any less active.

“why put a sword in an office in geomancy” — I don’t know.  As far as I’m aware, geomancy can be done pretty much anywhere, not just an office, and certainly not with a sword necessarily present.  Perhaps you mean the entirely unrelated art of feng shui, or “propitious designing”, and even then, I’m not sure what a sword would do for the flow of qi.

“how can quesited be get or calculated from the geomantic table” — You don’t calculate the quesited from the geomantic chart; the quesited is the topic that you’re asking about.  You then pick from the twelve houses of the House Chart whichever is most closely related to your question.  So, if you’re asking about a relationship or marriage, the seventh house is the quesited house; if about higher education or religion, the ninth house.  There are endless guides going back for hundreds of years in astrology and geomancy that lists what house to inspect what for a given query, so I’m a little amazed that you were able to get so far as to calculate a geomantic chart without coming across such a list.

“using sigils for penisgrowth” — I…uh, I mean, good luck.  While sigil magic can get you a lot, there are limits, and even purely physical or chemical methods have little to no effect without concerted effort over a period of months.  I’m not sure than any amount of masturbation over arcane symbols can get you this.

“how to make a pentagram out of cardboard for your wiccan altar images” — I assume you would get a piece of cardboard of a size you find appropriate, cut out a circle, and draw on a pentagram with the other symbols (like the one for Taurus, the dollar signs, and so forth) with some sort of drawing instrument.  I mean, call me crazy, as I’m not always known for taking the easiest or most apparent course of action.

“will i get going on a holiday this year archangel barakiel please” — I dunno, will you get going on a holiday this year?  Is it something you’ve earned?  Is it something you expect to be given to you without having paid for it?  You can always just up and leave work to take a break, though that may have some other repercussions.  As for where Barachiel comes into this, if you’re looking for a blessing of vacation, try a novena or pray his chaplet,

“banishing polyphanes” — Nooooooooo!  Don’t banish the polyphanes.  The polyphanes does not wish to be banished!  You can just ask me to leave, you ass, you don’t need to blow pepper smoke in my face.

“ive just done my geomancy and it said a removal is hereby indicated what does this mean” — I’m not familiar with the text you’re using, so…try plugging that as an answer into the question you asked.  Like, perhaps leave where you currently are, throw something away, give something to the person it belongs to.  Think for a bit and use your pretty head.

“ritual. your name will be written 9x around the diagram using your own blood.” — Or you could, y’know, not do that.  Blood magic works, and often in ways you don’t expect (I speak from personal experience).  Without knowing the ritual or the diagram, my flat answer would just be “don’t”.

“vomiting vibrating penis picture” — I’ve seen quite a few things in my time on the internet.  I can’t say I’ve seen something like this before, but now that I’ve read it, I’m already imagining it and I’m just gonna take a few shots now, so please excuse me.  I’ll go comfort myself with the timeless pictures of Goatse or Tubgirl instead.

“what does fiery wall of protection oil smell like” — Depends on your recipe and how you make it, or from whom you get it.  Mine doesn’t smell like particularly much, just barely of hot peppers and that only barely, masked by the heaviness of the oil and resin.

“when doing spellwork to draw something to u should u only do it when the hands on the clock going up in the planetary hour” — This seems to be mixing multiple systems of magic, and honestly I’ve always found the whole clock-hand business to be unsatisfactory and superstitious.  I’d rather use the waxing moon as opposed to the waning moon, but if you insist on having different times during the day, you might experiment with using the times of the day when the Sun is approaching the horizon (so from noon to sunset, and from midnight to sunrise).