What do you do in your free time? (For those who don’t really know a damn about me.)
I study medieval philosophy and translate Latin.  Occasionally I’ll do some woodburning as a hobby.

What do you do in your free time? (For those whom I’m acquainted with and know I’m weird.)
I study the ancient and arcane arts of mystical bullshit.

What tradition do you practice? 
21st century blogger tradition.  (What?  It’s a good description of the mixture of Western ceremonial magic with classical Greco-Romano-Egyptian and Vajrayana/Tantric influences that I and a lot of other blogosphere acquaintances practice.)

Do you actually think this stuff is real?
As real as you think economics can predict actual economic trends.

So, wait, you actually talk to angels and demons and things?
…yes.

But there’s no such thing as demons! (For those who disregard the existence of nonphysical entities.)
Okay.  So?

But there’s no such thing as demons! (For those who ignore that anything dark/malicious exists in the cosmos.)
And nature is full of nothing but bunnies and dandelions.  You’d fit right in, annoyingly fluffy as you are.  Go wander off into a dark forest, please, and enjoy yourself.

Are you pagan? 
No.  I’m not really anything, ‘cept for myself.

Are you Christian?
No.  Jesus was totally awesome, though.  I should give him a call again soon.

Are you Jewish?
Kinda.  I’m Jewish, emphasis on the “ish”.  I’m cheap, that’s for damn sure.  With the exception of my brother (who’s orthodox, for some unknowable reason), my father’s side of the family does the Chanukkah schtick and takes the Holocaust very seriously.  My mother’s side isn’t much of anything.

Did you know that you’re going to hell for doing this demonic diabolical damned devil-worshipping?

• Did you know you’re going to hell for being a blinded, close-minded, judgmental bitch?
• Oh, really?  I’ll see you there!
• I thought I was already in hell.  You keep saying words at me.